Two Outta Three Ain’t Bad

Three stories of danger and suspense from my past, two of which actually happened

Clay Rivers
2 min readAug 1, 2022

Jack Herlocker tagged me for a writing challenge:

Write three tales (major, minor, trivial, whatever) of your life. Two would be the truth and nothing but the truth. One would be a complete fabrication. (Mary McGrath kicked this off, btw.)

So without further ado, three catastrophic incidents from my life, in chronological order:

  1. One Thanksgiving weekend, I almost died in front of 6,000 onlookers. The steel toy plane I was strapped into was supposed to traverse the width of the Radio City Music Hall stage. The plane lurched and stopped center stage with me and the plane suspended at least two stories above the stage swinging like a giant pendulum. It was all “fun and games” till the plane went into a 10-foot drop. Stagehands ran out onstage, the curtain came down, and I was rescued. Underwear unsoiled.
  2. One Thanksgiving weekend, I brought home a 25-pound turkey, nicknamed Goliath, that I bought for a song. After arguing with family about the proper way to thaw the bird, I caved and handed off the responsibility to someone else and took a nap. I returned a couple hours later to find the prized bird thawing on the patio deck with water from a garden hose trickling over the bird. But the thing that added insult to injury was discovering a gaping hole where feral cats or something had ripped off one of the drumsticks.
  3. One Thanksgiving, before heading out to dinner with friends, we had a couple drinks. Mine on an empty stomach. The friend poured with a heavy hand. At the posh restaurant we ate our appetizers and had another round of drinks. Halfway through the main course I felt a little uneasy and headed to the mens room, where I proceeded to redecorate one of the stalls with the contents of my stomach. I haven’t touched a Manhattan since.

So! Two of the above are true, and one of them is false. Tell me which story you think is false in the responses, and then invite five writers to play along. Please tag me too!

Happy fabricating!

Clay Rivers

Artist, author, accidental activist, & EIC Our Human Family ( and OHF Weekly ( Twitter: @clayrivers