Sherry, there’s so many different ways to handle a situation like this. All any of us can do is make the best decision we can at the time. My approach here was to give my support to the “victim” (for want of a better term) and the tribe by elevating peace and justice, and not giving the naysayer the direct attention they crave.
Some people are simply misguided and open to—and even crave—discussion. And others not so much.
The advice you give you daughters is wise indeed, “protect the victim, but be kind to the bully, too.” I hear ya about coming out swinging. Welcome to the human condition. 😉