Sherry, you don’t have to figure out the why now. Not this soon, at least. This is a shock to the system. I know it is to mine. There’s feelings that need to run their course. Then there’s sorting all that crap. And finally, releasing it.
Our society is so steeped in a “figure everything out by the end of the episode” that we short circuit our understanding of what we’ve experienced and how it has affected us for the sake of getting back on the horse without understanding why we fell or how we got knocked off. That’s how we forfeit growth. (You see I’m including myself in there.)
Remember to stay human.