Jennifer, I’ve only caught two of your posts about your legal battle and what’s been going on of late. I’m way out of familiar waters when it comes to matters of domestic abuse, but my heart broke, and I couldn’t keep quiet. So, if anything below is inappropriate or offensive or comes across as a platitude, I apologize. Please know that the following is coming solely from a place of good intention, encouragement, and support.
I commend you for standing up for yourself. Your strength, courage, and determination are an example to us all. You may not see those attributes in yourself at the moment, but in time you’ll look back and see just how strong you were. Things may not have gone the way you would have preferred; but the most important thing did happen: you made it through. There are so many others who wouldn’t and couldn’t have done what you did, even if they had a legion of people accompany them. Going there alone took courage.
One thing jumped out at me in your post. You said you’re very good at telling other women “it will be okay. Stay strong you are almost there. Don’t give up no matter what.” Those are wise words. And while you may feel totally adrift at sea, this is just a temporary feeling.
You wonder how you’ll make it till February? I’ll tell you how you’ll make it.
You’ll get up in the morning. You’ll find the reason to go on and you’ll move forward. And in case you’ve lost sight of what that reason is, it’s this—
You are the reason you’re going to get up tomorrow and the morrow after that to do what you need to do to get back on your feet. Why?
BECAUSE YOU’RE WORTH IT.
You can do this with friends and a good support system. There are people out there who know you and love you and will stand with you. Find them. Lean on them.
But you don’t think you can?
Well, if you don’t think you can, you won’t. You’ve come too far to give up. “I” believe you can. Yeah, you’re emotionally exhausted. But that’s to be expected, you’ve been through a lot. NO ONE ON THIS PLANET WOULD EXPECT YOU TO CARRY ON AS IF NOTHING HAPPENED. You’ve been handed a huge disappointment.
But the story isn’t over.
Yes, there will be days when you’ll be tired, you’ll stumble, you’ll fall. But you know what … welcome to the human condition. I say that not to make light of your situation, but to point out that that’s what humans do. We stumble, we fall, we get up, and we try again. We take a couple steps, share our fears with our friends, gain strength from those we trust, and we try again.
You know sometimes “shit” befalls us, through no fault of our own or because of someone else’s doing. And sometimes going through the experience isn’t so much about us. Idunno, may the next few months is so that you can be able to tell someone else who finds themselves in a similar position that they too can and will make it through. Perhaps your journey is to serve as your witness to other women.
I don’t know you.
But I see some wise people here on Medium reaching out and supporting you. Know above all that you are loved.
Take it one day at a time. And take time to care of yourself.
Don’t forget to love yourself.
Not to be critical, but I think your profile bio is all wrong. Seems to me like you’re finding the most important person in your life….YOU.