Emmanuel, thank you for your kind words. You know, sorting this “stuff” out can be overwhelming. Especially, when you stop to think how it negatively impacts so many people in so many ways. The weight of it can become unbearable and literally sap the life force from you. At least that’s the way it can be for me at times.
I highly recommend tackling the subject in small, manageable portions. Try sorting out a specific facet of an incident and when you’ve had enough; leave it alone, walk away from it. Lord knows it’ll still be there to deal with when you return to it.
Here’s an essay I wrote about self-care that goes into more detail. I hope it offers something you find useful.
What’s so amazing about writers like Biko Mandela Gray, Ezinne Ukoha, John Metta, Ré Harris, Son of Baldwin, and Thaddeus Howze to name a few, is that they’ve pondered and researched countless specific facets of these topics long and hard—they’ve done the work—and have formulated their own belief systems and they know where they stand. If you were to ask them about X, I’m sure each of them can tell exactly how they feel about X.
While I may not agree with every word of their essays, there’s an overwhelming wealth of information and point of view that not only resonates with my experiences, but helps me bring into focus those areas that are still roiling inside. The other stuff where our opinions don’t exactly overlap? That’s all good. That’s all fine print, that’s the stuff of our unique experiences, as far as I’m concerned. After all, what’s most important is our broader, shared experience, and the acceptance of our individual differences.
Hang in there. We’ve got each other.
Love one another.