Adam, I have to applaud your ability to hold on to to your optimism. I don’t know that I’d be able to do the same. If I might offer a suggestion … try to take full advantage of your time with your therapist. You’re going through some serious challenges and while the tendency for some is to forge on full steam ahead with their game face securely attached; be sure to take time to exhale with your therapist and let him/her know how you’re really feeling inside. At the very least, if good to get those concerns out of your head and into the open. It’s easy to take the position of not having the time or the desire in order to tend to more pressing matters, but internal self-care is just as — if not more important than — the other stuff.
Your fortitude is very admirable. Hang in the, bud. We’re rooting for you. (And that’s not the royal “we.”)
Thanks for sharing your adventures.